One Thing

One of my favorite things to do in junior high was to dance furiously to boy-band music.  That's not even a joke.  I would rock out to Backstreet Boys and 'N Sync, take a break for some Strawberry Nesquik, and then rock out some more.  It was so much fun....  Let's be honest, it's still fun.  I still do that, but don't tell anyone:  They'll find out how uncool I am.

While 'N Sync will always be my favorite, there is this song by One Direction that I really enjoy.  "One Thing."  It's so cute.  I could truly sing into my curling iron and dance around to this song for an entire evening.  (Yet another reason why I don't have any friends.)  Here (you should listen to it too):  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjgLbv3uPbI

You better believe I just clicked on that link.

I think the reason why I like this song so much is that I'd like to be that girl who has that "one thing."  Not because I want One Direction to fall in love with me.  That's creepy and wrong.  I don't need to be the girl who has that "one thing" to make anyone fall in love with me.  It has nothing to do with that.  I'd just hope that I could be someone that people can look at and say, "Hey-- there's something about her.  She's different, in a good way.  I want to be like that too."

This lead me to wonder, what is that "one thing" that would make me like that?  Then, the math teacher in me said, "Well, one is the sum of all its parts."  Eureka!  We're not just talking about one thing here!  We're talking about several qualities that make up one whole person.  This, of course, opens up another can of worms.  Similar to my "to do" lists, which are seemingly never-ending, I need to create a "to be" list in order to figure out what characteristics I need to embody in order have that "one thing."

Here's my "to be" list:

• Be faithful:  Faith can be defined as belief and dedication.  As a teacher and a missionary, I've encountered so many people who don't believe in anything, not even themselves.  What a sad way to go about things!  Not everyone has to believe what I believe.  But everyone should believe in something and dedicate themselves to it.  This includes being faithful to the people we love.
• Be hopeful:  Whether things are going well in life or not, it's so important to have hope.  As any human who's actually lived can tell you, sometimes life doesn't pan out to be the way we expect it, or want it, to be.  Bad things happen.  If you're not confronted with challenges, then you're not living.  Even amidst difficulty, it is so important to be hopeful.  To look forward to good things to come, and to know that they're there.  Having hope inspires us to keep moving, even when we'd rather crawl into a hiding place and never come out.  Hope also helps me to appreciate the current circumstances for what they are, whether I'm in a happy place or not.  Hope assists me in conquering my fears.
• Be loving and charitable:  True charity is more than giving money and supplies to the needy.  True charity is recognizing humanity in another person, or recognizing life in any other living thing, and simply loving them for being alive.  It's not only a desire, but a need to help other living things.  Whenever I think of true love and charity, I think of most mothers I know.  People who are willing to sacrifice time, effort, money, and even themselves for the benefit of someone (or something) else.  This one is so important, and-- if you ask me-- it's central to developing any other meaningful trait.  Love is realizing that life is not a competition, that I can truly rejoice when good things happen to other people.
• Be virtuous:  Basically, think opposite of Miley Cyrus.  Virtue is what so many young people (and old people) lack today.  Virtue is purity, in thought, in action.  Virtue is the person you are when no one's watching.  Virtue is standing true to one's beliefs, no matter what.  Virtue is a determination to do the right thing because it's the right thing.  And, girls, you need to have virtue.  I believe that men live up to the standard set by the women in their lives.  If you want to go around acting like a Miley Cyrus clone, feel free, but don't be surprised if all the men in your life turn out to be like drunken frat boys who only want you for your butt and boobs.  (Someone had to say it.)  It you want to inspire the people in your life to be good, then you must be good first.  Girls, we set the bar, and we shouldn't insult our guys with such low standards.  They deserve better.  We deserve better.
• Be knowledgeable:  We live in an age of information.  Some of the information we can learn is more important than other information, but with every step, intelligence grows.  And knowing things isn't enough.  A person needs to learn how to discern what is fact and what is not.  They need to know how to research and apply.  Hopefully with all of this "getting of facts," they also get an understanding of what those facts mean.  With luck, this understanding may even turn into wisdom.
• Be obedient:  This relates back to faith.  I'll be obedient to what I believe-- to the teachings of Jesus Christ.  I'll be obedient to laws, as long as those laws aren't harming innocent people.  I'll be obedient to my parents, because experience has taught me that they won't ask me to do anything that isn't for my benefit.  I'll be obedient to the regulations of my job, because that's what I agreed to do when I was hired.  I'll be obedient to the promises I make.  Being obedient does not demonstrate weakness.  It demonstrates self-mastery and discipline.  Obedience in honorable.
• Be patient:  Is there anyone who wouldn't benefit from a little more patience?  Patience is more than waiting, too.  It productive, meaningful understanding that some good things in life are postponed.  I feel like I have to be patient with my circumstances often.  Sometimes I wonder why I haven't be blessed with the good things I've seen rewarded to others who, in my weakness, I view as less deserving than me.  I've recently discovered that patience also ties in with humility:  I need to understand that I'm not able to control everything that I'd like to, and I need to submit myself to that fact.  I have to be patient with other people, especially the little people with whom I associate everyday.  I've found that on the days when I am more patient with my students, they respond better to me.  They're happier, and I'm happier.  It requires a great deal of determination sometimes, but it is so worth it.
• Be humble:  God is God, and I'm not.  It's His will that matters, not mine.  If you're the type that doesn't believe in God, humility is still an important quality, I think.  Like virtue, it's one that we don't see often enough these days.  While society would teach us to gain-- to get "stuff"-- and to then use that to show our status is absolutely ridiculous.  Some people even use their intelligence to prove how important they are.  Here's what I think:  People who are truly comfortable with themselves don't have anything to prove.  It doesn't matter if they receive recognition or popularity or "stuff."  They're content with who they are.  Rick Warren (I have no idea who that is) has said, "Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.  Humility is thinking more of others."  Wouldn't it be awesome if this were the mindset MTV blasted at its viewers?  How much better would our country, and world, be if we could be humble?
• Be diligent:  Diligence is that little voice that guides us, that inspires us to keep working.  To keep doing.  To keep becoming.  It's not giving up, even when the going gets tough.  However, I think it's important to note that calm surrender is the yin to diligence's yang.  Sometimes it's OK to give in.  Thank goodness I'm not still pursuing that one guy from high school who said he didn't want to date me!  When it comes to the important things, though, I'll keep forging ahead, because that's what a diligent person would do.

I can't take credit for this list.  As a missionary, I studied a book called Preach My Gospel.  It's the missionary guidebook.  One of the chapters teaches the missionaries that it's not enough to do missionary work.  They also have to become a missionary.  (Here's the link:  http://www.lds.org/manual/preach-my-gospel-a-guide-to-missionary-service/how-do-i-develop-christlike-attributes?lang=eng .)  These characteristics were developed after my personal role model, Jesus Christ.  Even to those who are not religious, it should be obvious that Jesus Christ lived an incredible life.  He was an amazing person.  He has that "one thing" that I would so much like to have.  In developing the qualities He personified, I hope to become more like Him.  That way, when people get to know me, it will be like getting to know Him too.  Because when I strive to live up to these ideals, to become as He is, I feel an inner-strength and peace.  I'm given perspective, compassion, and understanding.  When I fall short (and I always do), I'm given the reassurance that I can try again as many times as I need to.

All of this is certainly "one thing" for which everyone should strive.