Modesty

It's that time again.  That time when a collective, silent scream emerges from every teacher's ready-for-Thanksgiving Break-weary mind.  Halloween.  Classroom management tactics are put to the test as the count-down to Halloween begins (usually around the same time WalMart starts advertising for it).  Children find it hard to focus on lessons unless those lessons are directly related to how much candy they'll get or who'll have the best costume this year.  And it doesn't end at Halloween either.  The day after Halloween is much, much worse.  Students are either on a sugar high (and passing candy to each other like it's cocaine) or on a crash that leaves them asking to see the nurse every five minutes.

I get it, though.  Halloween is fun.  It's a nice escape from reality when we're entitled to wear a costume, act like someone else, and be a little silly.  (I guess Comic Con is pretty much the same... but I digress....)  This year, I'm going to be Belle from Beauty and the Beast.  As I try on my nearly-finished costume, I can't help but want to start singing about how boring my provincial life is.....  Candy is always a plus.  I even like those peanut butter chewy candy things that my siblings hated.

Here's what I think is awful about Halloween, though, and it's definitely a problem us girls need to address.  Modesty.  There's something goofy about Halloween that would turn an otherwise wholesome girl into a whorish play boy bunny.  (I don't capitalize it, because it doesn't deserve to be.)  I don't care if it's Halloween or Mardi Gras or a cruise vacation:  We need to stand our ground, stick to our modesty, regardless of the occasion.  In the words of Jeffrey R. Holland, "We never check our religion at the door."  Even a person who isn't religious can find purpose in dressing modestly at all times. 

I'm not saying everyone has to dress like an Amish person (not that there's anything wrong with that).  Nor am I saying that a woman's body is shameful.  (Please, friends, you're talking to a girl who used to work at Victoria's Secret.)  What I am saying is that the way we dress says a whole lot about how we perceive ourselves.

Honestly, I don't understand the temptation to dress immodestly.  Growing up, I had a little (very little) purple tube top thing....  I hated that thing.  I tried it on once, and-- could you believe it-- it showed my belly-button!  Heaven forbid!  I couldn't have been more than 3 or 4 years old, and I felt uncomfortable showing my tummy to anyone.  No one had taught me to be that way, I just was.  I think most children--after getting over the running around the house naked stage-- understand that it's inappropriate to show too much of ourselves (if you know what I'm saying).

To this day, I would never consider wearing something revealing, and it's not because I don't think I could pull it off.  (You better believe I could rock that Wonder Woman costume.)  I don't do it because I know I could, but in so doing, I would destroy every effort I've made to be taken seriously as a thoughtful, meaningful person.  Does dressing immodestly get a woman attention?  Absolutely.  Can it give her the upper-hand in her interactions with men?  I suppose it depends on what she's trying to get at....  Seriously, girls, if you have to sink to such vile tactics to seek attention and approval, perhaps you need to take a long look at your self-esteem.  No truly confidant woman (or girl) would ever need to seek attention or approval from anyone, because she already achieved approval from herself.  Love yourself.  Leave that nasty nurse costume in the store (where it belongs).

It all boils down to respect.  Do I respect myself enough to be appreciated for who I am and not what I look like?  Do I respect my body enough to present it to the world in a way that doesn't diminish its value?  Do I respect men enough to help them maintain virtuous conduct in their interactions with me?  Do I respect the children in my life enough to set an example of modesty for them to follow?  Do I respect God enough to portray my body in a way that is pleasing to Him?

When I look at the great women of this world, I can't think of one who would allow herself to be objectified.  Not on Halloween.  Not in a bathing suit.  Not ever.  Modesty isn't old-fashioned.  It's a necessity for girls who wish to be truly happy.

Because modesty is so important to me, I love to help others find places to shop for modest clothes.  Check out a few of my favorite sites:

http://www.downeastbasics.com/

http://www.mikarose.com/

http://junieblake.com/bottoms.html

Introvert

I was planning on finishing a sewing project tonight, but after realizing I couldn't tell one side of the fabric from the other, I decided I better call it quits, for a seamstress without her wits about her may accidentally turn a dress into a pillowcase.  Better to mess up a blog (and subsequently lose any respect I may have had) than destroy expensive fabric.  That's my motto.

I've been thinking a lot about personality lately, particularly when it comes to the personalities of my kiddos.  Sometimes it's easier than others to get their personalities to mesh, but when all a teacher has is one classroom to keep them in, creative measures have to be taken to make sure everyone gets along.  I'm lamenting some students in particular today-- why can't we all just get along?  On the bright side, they didn't break out into any Apache knife fights today, so I guess I can consider today a successful one.

I realize that most of my classroom squabbles stem from misunderstanding and personality diversity.  All of my students are, basically, looking at the same thing, but each is seeing something completely different.  When it comes to most group tasks, my heart especially goes out to my little introverts.  Poor things....  We'll talk about their predicaments later.

In college I found that one of my favorite areas to study was Personality Psychology.  I clocked a lot of hours researching personality types based on age, gender, culture, birth order (oldest, middle, youngest), etc.  Interesting stuff, it is.  My favorite personality test is the Myers-Briggs test (MBTI).  In a nutshell, a person is rated on four aspect of how they perceive the world and react to it.  If you've got a few minutes to kill, you can take the test here:  http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp

I'm an INFJ personality, which is, according to research, the personality possessed by only 1% of the population....  and Adam Sandler.  Here's a little about what my personality type says about me (and I actually agree):  http://www.personalitypage.com/INFJ.html

I highly encourage anyone to take the MBTI and Google their personality type.  It's fun, unless you're the type who would doesn't think it's fun.  If you're that type, it wouldn't be fun for you.

ANYWAY, let's focus back on the INFJ thing.  The "I" stands for "introvert," and I am the poster-girl for introversion.  I can SO relate to those students who dread the words "group work."  I dread those words too.

The more I'm forced to live in the outside world, the more I realize how ill-equipped some are at dealing with a true introvert, SO (drum roll, please) here's a list to help you, just in case you're one of those people who doesn't know how to handle being around an introvert:

Things Introverts Like

1. spending time alone
2. spending time with others but not having to talk much-- just sitting in each others' company is fine
3. reading
4. writing (obviously)
5. creating things
6. expressing themselves through music
7. expressing themselves through art
8. nature
9. having meaningful conversations with family and close friends
10. working by themselves

Things Introverts Hate

1. asking for help
2. small talk
3. having to talk when they're deep in thought
4. group projects
5. surprise parties... any parties, really
6. having to share information about themselves with strangers
7. developing friendships quickly
8. spending extensive lengths of time with others
9. running into acquaintances at the store (see number 2 above)
10. when others tell them they need to be more extroverted

I understand that, to a natural extrovert, that I might seem grumpy, irresponsible, cowardly, and shy.  That isn't the case, though.  I'm not grumpy, I just don't attach easily to others.  I only reveal myself to my deepest and truest family and friends, and only after having trusted them for a long time.  Speaking only out of formality is a burden.  Even a hearty, "Good morning!" to co-workers as I walk into school each day takes a lot out of me.  Morning time is my best thinking time, and I hate to have my thinking interrupted by socially acceptable chatter.

I'm not irresponsible either, only one who needs time and space to work through problems internally before taking action:  Just because I don't answer questions or respond to comments immediately doesn't mean I'm ignoring them.  It means I'm truly taking them to heart and pondering appropriate actions to take.  When I don't have time to ponder over my responses, even in conversation, I'll feel flustered.  There have been many-a-time when I've said something I don't mean, or I've said things in an unintended manner, only because I wasn't given sufficient time to consider my response.

I'm not cowardly or shy, in spite of what others might think.  Personally, I can speak, sing, and/or perform in front of dozens, 100s, even 1000s of people without batting an eye.  I find that kind of communication more as expression than conversation.  I view my teaching in the same way.  It's deep and meaningful.  However, ask me to communicate directly with one or two people who I hardly know, and I won't have much to say.  I like to listen, and I only like to talk when I have something important to say.

I know that, generally, we live in a extrovert's world, and I do my best to fit in.  However, I know that if an extrovert could glimpse into the world that I see inside myself, they might begin to understand the complexity of an introvert's world.  So, please, be kind to your introvert friends.

Evaluation

It's been a while.  I blame Netflix.  Specifically, I blame the Korean drama "Boys Over Flowers."  Who knew that Koreans have such frustratingly great TV?  I only recommend watching it if you want your house to go uncleaned for a solid... however long it takes you to get through 25 hour-long episodes.

Anyway, it's been a couple of interesting weeks at work.  Due to a new law in Colorado, all teachers must be evaluated on an extensive rubric.  (If you're really curious to see what I'm up against, feel free to check out the link:  http://www.cde.state.co.us/sites/default/files/TeacherRubric.pdf )  Being the perfectionist I am, this new evaluation system doesn't bode well for me, seeing as how no ordinary person, even the best teachers, are not capable of achieving all that this rubric requires of them.

I've spent hours pouring over this evaluation form, trying to create some kind of feasible game-plan on beating it.  Realistically, those should have been hours spent thinking about my students rather than myself.  It's an unfortunate reality many of us teachers face as politicians and third-party-businesses demand more presence in our classrooms.

In a way, it's been good for me.  I'd forgotten what it feels like to be so dehumanized by rubrics and evaluations.  Yet this is something my students go through everyday.  They're evaluated constantly.  They're a series of numbers and checks.  Names don't matter and individual talents don't count (unless it's on the evaluation).

After experiencing some disappointing test results last week, I came home this weekend and reflected on that teacher evaluation.  I realized that, chances are, I'll never be an "advanced" teacher.  If I'm lucky, I'll maybe squeeze out a "proficient" score this year.  But that's OK, because I've decided that Colorado politicians can take this evaluation and shove it where the sun don't shine.  I'll continually strive to be a better teacher, but I won't do it for them and their fancy check-lists.  I'll do it because it's what my students deserve.

 While we're on the topic of unrealistic expectations, here's another example of an evaluation that I hate.  Here are the unspoken cultural expectations of a Mormon girl:
 

UNSATISFACTORY	PARTIALLY PROFICIENT	PROFICIENT	ADVANCED	EXEMPLARY
Get married look cute all the time (if in Utah) poof hair to unnatural heights, get a fake tan	Perpetually behave like a Disney princess Always agree with what the husband says/does Never have an original thought	Have children, preferably by the dozen Master the art of the funeral potato Jell-o salad	Bake cookies Bake lemon bars Bake cinnamon rolls Bake bread Bake all the things	Kids are always happy and well behaved Husband is always happy and well behaved You're perfect

I think I've made it pretty clear that I love the doctrines of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  I believe these doctrines with every piece of myself.  Mormon culture, though, can really irritate me at times.  I'm not "unsatisfactory."  I'm whatever category is beneath "unsatisfactory," because I haven't managed to do the important thing-- the ONE thing-- that every Mormon girl is "supposed" to have done by this point in her life.  I'm not married.  I don't have 3.75 kids.  Well, sorry...  Stupid evaluation.

Thankfully, I rid myself of that worthless rubric years ago.  I realized that there's no such thing as a one-size-fits-all rubric that evaluates everyone fairly.  The rubrics which have been crafted by others are ill-suited for me, just as I'm sure my self-evaluations would be ill-suited for them.  PS-- Each life is unique, has it's own set of challenges, and follows its own timeline.

The only opinion I really care about is God's.  In the eternal scheme of things, I doubt whether my Heavenly Father will care if I was "advanced" or "exemplary" according to the Colorado Department of Education or according to an imperfect culture.  He'll care if I was kind, if I was patient, if I was obedient to His commandments.  When all is said and done, for better or worse, it won't matter what the other evaluations say.  In the end, it's my Heavenly Father's evaluation that really matters.