Anyway, it's been a couple of interesting weeks at work. Due to a new law in Colorado, all teachers must be evaluated on an extensive rubric. (If you're really curious to see what I'm up against, feel free to check out the link: http://www.cde.state.co.us/sites/default/files/TeacherRubric.pdf ) Being the perfectionist I am, this new evaluation system doesn't bode well for me, seeing as how no ordinary person, even the best teachers, are not capable of achieving all that this rubric requires of them.
I've spent hours pouring over this evaluation form, trying to create some kind of feasible game-plan on beating it. Realistically, those should have been hours spent thinking about my students rather than myself. It's an unfortunate reality many of us teachers face as politicians and third-party-businesses demand more presence in our classrooms.
In a way, it's been good for me. I'd forgotten what it feels like to be so dehumanized by rubrics and evaluations. Yet this is something my students go through everyday. They're evaluated constantly. They're a series of numbers and checks. Names don't matter and individual talents don't count (unless it's on the evaluation).
After experiencing some disappointing test results last week, I came home this weekend and reflected on that teacher evaluation. I realized that, chances are, I'll never be an "advanced" teacher. If I'm lucky, I'll maybe squeeze out a "proficient" score this year. But that's OK, because I've decided that Colorado politicians can take this evaluation and shove it where the sun don't shine. I'll continually strive to be a better teacher, but I won't do it for them and their fancy check-lists. I'll do it because it's what my students deserve.
While we're on the topic of unrealistic expectations, here's another example of an evaluation that I hate. Here are the unspoken cultural expectations of a Mormon girl:
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UNSATISFACTORY
|
PARTIALLY PROFICIENT
|
PROFICIENT
|
ADVANCED
|
EXEMPLARY
|
|
Get married look cute all the time (if in Utah) poof hair to unnatural heights, get a fake tan |
Perpetually behave like a Disney princess Always agree with what the husband says/does Never have an original thought |
Have children, preferably by the dozen Master the art of the funeral potato Jell-o salad |
Bake cookies Bake lemon bars Bake cinnamon rolls Bake bread Bake all the things |
Kids are always happy and well behaved Husband is always happy and well behaved You're perfect |
I think I've made it pretty clear that I love the doctrines of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I believe these doctrines with every piece of myself. Mormon culture, though, can really irritate me at times. I'm not "unsatisfactory." I'm whatever category is beneath "unsatisfactory," because I haven't managed to do the important thing-- the ONE thing-- that every Mormon girl is "supposed" to have done by this point in her life. I'm not married. I don't have 3.75 kids. Well, sorry... Stupid evaluation.
Thankfully, I rid myself of that worthless rubric years ago. I realized that there's no such thing as a one-size-fits-all rubric that evaluates everyone fairly. The rubrics which have been crafted by others are ill-suited for me, just as I'm sure my self-evaluations would be ill-suited for them. PS-- Each life is unique, has it's own set of challenges, and follows its own timeline.
The only opinion I really care about is God's. In the eternal scheme of things, I doubt whether my Heavenly Father will care if I was "advanced" or "exemplary" according to the Colorado Department of Education or according to an imperfect culture. He'll care if I was kind, if I was patient, if I was obedient to His commandments. When all is said and done, for better or worse, it won't matter what the other evaluations say. In the end, it's my Heavenly Father's evaluation that really matters.
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