Redemption

So--I'm speaking in Church tomorrow, and, naturally, I had to wait until about an hour ago to actually prepare for it.  The topic I was given was "redemption."

Normally I don't like to post "preachy" things, but--seeing as how I'm actually going to preaching from a pulpit--I figured, why not?  My Mormon friends should understand everything pretty clearly, but--if anyone else has questions or needs more explanation about something--please, ask.

So...  Here it is.  Redemption:

Good morning, Brothers and Sisters:

In Moses 1:39, the Lord says, “For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.”

When working as a missionary, my companions and I decided that this is Heavenly Father's mission statement, His overall goal that explains why He does the things that He does. It explains why He asks us to behave in certain ways and to become a certain kind of person. It is to bring about our salvation. Isn't it amazing that God's purpose is our ultimate and eternal happiness?

Our Heavenly Father knew, though, that it wouldn't be an easy undertaking. The scriptures say—both in the Bible and the Book of Mormon—that “no unclean thing can dwell in the Kingdom of God.” That “God cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance.” All sin—any sin—regardless of its severity and intention makes a person unfit to live with God.

That's why redemption is so important. Dictionaries define redemption as: deliverance; rescue; or as a payment for a debt. In our cases, as imperfect people, we need to be redeemed. Because we are separated from God, we need to be rescued. The debts of our sins must be paid before we can enter into the Kingdom of God. This is a debt that cannot be paid through our own efforts. Instead, we have to turn to Jesus Christ and the commandments He gives us. The Bible teaches us, “for God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.”

Jesus Christ, who is called our Redeemer for a reason, speaks often of redemption and grace. In fact, every one of His teachings revolves around His ultimate purpose of helping us achieve perfection.

One parable in particular comes to mind. It's found in the New Testament, in Luke Chapter 15. It reads, “Then drew near unto him all the publicans and sinners for to hear him. And the Pharisees and scribes murmured, saying, This man receiveth sinners, and eateth with them. And he spake this parable unto them, saying, What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it? And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost.

I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.”


Brothers and Sisters, all of us are in need of repentance. Daily repentance. In the rest of this chapter, Jesus Christ gives two more parables that teach of the love of God and of His willingness to not only accept, but to rejoice in any of His imperfect children who turn to Him. When I was younger, I used to think of myself as one of the ninety-and-nine “good” sheep—the ones who never did anything wrong. As I grow older, I realize that I'm that lost little sheep. I'm the one who the Savior is seeking to save, because He thinks I'm worth saving. Even when I feel weighed down with guilt, or when I feel stained from my sins, the Lord is willing to take that away. Through Him, I am able to rid myself of that guilt and free myself of those stains. I can be clean again. In Isaiah 1:18, Christ promises us that, “Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.”


I know that the Lord doesn't lie. If He says that I can be forgiven and that I can be clean, then it's true. In fact, He says that all of us—not just the good ones, the bad ones too—can and will be saved if we follow Him.


The Lord is very clear in His instructions as to what we must do in order to be saved. Jesus Christ, through His Atonement, performed His duties regarding our redemption. With the time I have left, I'd like to talk about we must do in return in order to be redeemed.


The first is baptism. As a missionary, I taught so many people who were afraid to be baptized. They didn't feel ready. Some were scared that they would offend God if they were to get baptized and then sin afterward. Brothers and Sisters, especially those of you who are considering baptism, I testify to you that it is God's will that all of His children be baptized. He knows that we are not perfect, and that's the point. Baptism is not the end goal, it is the first step of many in seeking our way back to Heavenly Father. Do not hesitate to partake in this wonderful gift, because only those who are baptized may be saved in the Kingdom of God. And any baptism won't do-- it must be a baptism performed by one who holds the proper authority of God, the Priesthood. That Priesthood is found only in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.


After baptism, one must follow all the commandments of God. This includes following the Word of Wisdom and obeying the Law of Chastity. This includes paying tithing, taking the Sacrament, and serving others. Naturally, all of us fall short here. Many people, even after baptism, give up at this step. It may not always be easy, but it will always be worth it in the end.


We must make covenants in the temple. Another step that we sometimes forget is the importance of making covenants in the temple. Because temples are so sacred, I won't go into detail, but I know how necessary temple covenants are to our salvation. Just like baptism, a person cannot be saved in the Kingdom of God without first making certain covenants in the temple. Also, it is only through temples that we can live with our families forever. Without temple covenants, we will be separated from our family relationships at death. If we want to be saved as families, temple covenants are crucial.


Finally, as we seek our personal redemption, we must also help others seek for theirs. One of my favorite sayings is, “Help thy brother's boat across, and, lo, thine own has reached the shore.” As we help others in their journey back to Heavenly Father, we help ourselves back as well. We can help others as we assist the missionaries, as we share the Gospel with our friends, and as we teach the children in our families what they must do to be saved. I can't speak from experience, but as I look at my nieces and nephews—knowing the love of an aunt—I can't imagine anything much more important than seeing that these little souls are saved. Another aspect of helping others return to God relates back to the temple. Every soul that ever was, that is, or ever will be will eventually have the chance to accept the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Through the Priesthood, and because Heavenly Father is so loving, we are able to do baptisms and temple work for those who were unable to do it for themselves in life. Even in death, our Heavenly Father gives us opportunities to accept His blessings, but—for those who have passed on—they are unable to enjoy these blessings without our help. We need to do temple work for them, and we start that process by doing our family history.


Is it worth it to do all these things? Satan would have us believe no. He tries to distract us with pride, possessions, and popularity. He tries to tempt us with things that aren't important, with things that don't last. Something interesting is that God will allow us to choose that path, if it is what we really want.


The Book of Mormon says in 2 Nephi 10:23, “Therefore, cheer up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves—to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life.”


If we choose to keep the commandments, our Heavenly Father promises us all that He has—not just in part, ALL of His kingdom. Jesus Christ has kept, and will always keep, His promises to us. If we keep our promises to Him, we will surely be redeemed.


In 3 Nephi 9:14 the Lord made a promise to His people. This promise still stands today. He says, “Yea, verily I say unto you, if ye will come unto me ye shall have eternal life. Behold, mine arm of mercy is extended towards you, and whosoever will come, him will I receive; and blessed are those who come unto me.”


And I say these things in the sacred name of our Lord and Redeemer, even Jesus Christ. Amen.

Value

So, not another Gingersnap post.  Sorry.  Maybe I'll vomit out another chapter tonight.  We'll see.  I have something else on my mind that I feel like needs saying first.

A few recent events have prompted me to reflect on value--how much something might mean to us.  How many of us have ever found ourselves checking price tags to see if we'd be willing to pay for something?  I'm certainly positive that I'm not the only one who has ever picked up a/n [insert super cool must-have item here] and said, "This is amazing!  But not [insert its dollar value] amazing."  Example:  These shoes are adorable!  But not $90 adorable.  That's my judgment call.  Someone said that the shoes were worth $90, and I have the option to disagree with that.  Maybe, to me, their value really sits at $20 or so.

We place value on things all the time.  Everyday, in fact.  We complain about the price of gas, the cost to live in our homes, and the ridiculous amount of funds it takes to receive a college education.  Yet most of us pay, because it's that important to us.  If it weren't, we would take our money elsewhere.

But what about things that aren't items or things or places?  Take, for example, my sweet baby Rogue.  She's not really a baby--she's a husky, and a spoiled one at that.  When people come over to my house for the first time, I warn them that there's dog fur everywhere, and that's just the way it is.  Because I value Rogue higher than I value my furniture.  She's my very best little buddy, and, quite honestly, is the only reason I don't stay at work until 8 or 9 every night.  Even though she's constantly spitting out her dog-food into random piles all over the house, I would still value her more than anything else that I own.  Someone else might see her as an irritating dog, and that's all right too.  She is irritating, but it doesn't matter so much to me, because I love her.  She is my everything.

Can we put a value on something like that?  How much is my husky really worth?  $400?  $500?  Maybe $1,000?...  To me, none of those values fit.  I don't think I could put a price on her.

What about people?  What is the value of a person?  Remember those "few events" I mentioned at the beginning of this post?  Well, let's talk about them now.

Three things this week that have retaught me the true value of a person:

• Miss America Pageant
• I didn't watch it this year... or any year since I was 5.  I saw a commercial for it though, and it got me to thinking about the girls who compete in these pageants.  What is their value?  When the winner is crowned, does that mean she's worth more than all of her competitors?  Is she worth more than the pudgy little girl who, while watching the pageant on TV, suddenly values herself less because valuable comes in only one size and one shape?
• Easy for me to say, right?  Other than having to get over the fact that I look like a Disney Princess incarnate, I've never had to struggle through self-image problems.  Seriously, I look like some kind of cartoon, but if I had to judge myself by Miss America standards, I'd say, "Bring it on."  (I'd have to throw my self respect out the window for that whole bikini thing, though.)  That's why I'm not thinking about myself in this case.  I think about my students, 9 and 10 year old boys and girls, who start to think that outward appearance equates with the value of a person.  I've had some of my students, girls particularly, tell me that they want to be like me when they grow up.  It's never because they think I'm smart, kind, responsible, or hard-working.  It's because they want to be skinny.  Why in the world are we teaching kids that a skinny person is more important than a smart, kind, responsible, and hard-working person?
• Let's refocus on those Miss America contestants.  Are they evil for perpetuating this "must be skinny to be worth something" attitude?  Maybe they're evil:  I really couldn't say, because I don't know them personally.  Maybe they're not.  That's not for me to judge.  What I can say, with all certainty, is that these girls have the exact same value as anyone else.  Their value is incomprehensible.  They are worth everything.  Just like that pudgy girl is worth everything.  Just like any person is worth everything.

• Parent Teacher Conferences
• I'm going to let you parents in on a little secret.  Parent-Teacher Conferences are terrifying!  Honestly.  I'm still new at this job, but even some of my seasoned veteran teacher friends still get jittery around conference time.  We're scared of parents!  I realized something interesting this last Thursday, though.  I realized that parents are scared of me!  I saw it in a father's eyes as he brought his son in for their conference.  I could tell that this father was petrified that I would tell him all of the dreadful things a parent hopes not to hear coming from their child's teacher.  I've found that most parents value their children about the same as the universe, times the universe, and still much more.  It's such a humbling thing as a teacher to recognize the importance of the collective class and also of the importance of the single individual.  As tiring as conference time can be, in a way it's rejuvenating in the fact that I'm reminded of the value of my students.  They are worth everything to their parents, so they had better be worth everything to me.  And the students who don't have parents who value them?  It's all the more reason for me to do so.
• What about the students who don't score well on tests?  What about the child who just can't quite read as quickly, or the student who can't remember what "7 * 8" is?  Are they less valuable?  Is the high school graduate or the college graduate more valuable than one who isn't as educated?  Does intelligence reflect the value of a person?  I submit that it does not.  That same father who came in who was afraid of me, both of us were nearly in tears at the end of the conference, because I also saw how brilliant his son is (not could be, is) even though his test scores may not reflect that.  We see the value in this boy.  It's everything.  Just like my kids who consistently score 100% are worth everything.  Just like my kids who scribble on their papers (and think they can get away with calling it a completed assignment) are worth everything.

• The Italian Family
• I'm not going to go into too much detail here, because I don't think service is something that should be bragged about.  I'll just mention that today as I drove into a grocery store parking lot, I found a man begging for money to feed his family.  I see it all the time, and regrettably,  I usually pass by.  I pass by because I don't want to be taken advantage of, and because I'm not wealthy enough to help everyone I see.  But, I felt very strongly, almost like driving into a brick wall, that I needed to turn myself around and go help that man.  When I parked my car next to where he was standing, I saw his family sitting behind him.  A wife, a 9 year old daughter, and a 2 week old baby.  She was beautiful.  Everything they owned was in their car, and it wasn't much.
• As I inquired as to the family's needs, I found out that they were an immigrant Italian family trying to make their way out to California.  They communicated in what little English they knew, and I communicated using what little Italian I know (i.e. Spanish).  In the short time I spent with them this afternoon, I was reminded of how much I really have; a roof over my head and food in my belly.  I have a reliable and enjoyable job and an expansive support system if that job were to fall through.  But that doesn't mean that my life is any more significant than theirs.
• When I offered to help the family in what ways I could, the mother kept saying, "Bless you, bless you.  Jesus love you."  I wish I could have communicated back to her the immense amount of love I knew that our Savior has for her and her family.  I know, without a doubt, that were it not for a loving God who sees this family being worth everything, I would not have stopped to help them.  Were it not for a loving Heavenly Father who slapped me (metaphorically) in the face and told me to turn my car around, I would have assigned them about the same value as any other sign I pass on my way to the grocery store.

The value of a person can't be described or explained, and that value is consistent regardless of outward appearance, intelligence, or wealth.  Talent doesn't make a person more important, and mistakes don't suddenly make a them less important.  And, for me, the only titles of true value in this world are mother, father, brother, sister, son, daughter, etc. those titles we give to our family members.

A twenty dollar bill is worth $20 whether it's new and crisp and clean, or whether it's been through the laundry a few times and then dragged through a muddy parking lot.  I know, especially after today's reminder, that there is a God who loves His children and who is always aware of them.  As broken, torn, and muddy as we may feel at times, He can't forget a single one of us, because we (collectively and individually) are His everything.

Enough

For those of my friends who live in the parts of Wyoming, Colorado, and Utah that have flooded, I hope that you're all safe and sound (and dry).  I've tried to get in touch with most of you already.  If not, please, call me if there's anything I can do to help.  I have running water and food in the fridge.  If things get worse, I have water stored and a full tank of gas.  I just hope I have enough if it comes down to actually needing it.

Enough is an important thing.  When we have enough food, we don't suffer from hunger.  When we have enough water, we are able to stay hydrated, clean, and healthy.   Enough money means less stress when it comes time to pay the bills.

Enough can be a curse too, really.  I've certainly been in the position to not think as highly of myself as I should.  I've been caught saying things like:  If I were smart enough, I'd pursue that higher degree.  If I were athletic enough, I'd try out for that team.  If I were talented enough, I'd audition for that role.  If I were dedicated enough, I'd be really good at (insert hobby here).  If I were skinny enough, I'd actually look good in this outfit.  If I were pretty enough, I'd be able to get a date....  You see-- enough can be an unhealthy thing if it becomes an obsession.

Exhibit A:  If I had been perceptive enough, I could have saved myself a lot of grief this week.  I've also seen enough rain, comforted enough crying kids, vacuumed enough water out of my basement, been inundated with enough tasks at work, worried about enough family members stuck in flooding areas, and buried enough beloved pets.  I've seen enough suffering, and--quite frankly-- I'm sick of it.  Enough is enough.

Last night I was asked if I'd take in a family who has lost their home in the recent flooding.  I don't know anything about this family.  I don't know their names, how many of them there are, where they lived, or how long they'll ultimately be relying on others for housing.  I'm not sure when they'll be arriving, or if they still plan on arriving at all.  Last night and this morning, as I've prepared my home to, perhaps, welcome this family, I realized what a task this is.  My inner-strength is already so depleted that I just don't feel like I have enough in me to take care of myself, let alone other people.  I just don't feel strong enough.  Or brave enough.  Or capable enough.

These circumstances remind me of a scripture in the Book of Mormon, Ether 12:27.  In this particular verse, a prophet is mourning the fact that he doesn't feel qualified ("good" enough) to fulfill the work he's been asked to do.  The Lord responds by saying, "... if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

I'm also reminded of a verse of one of my favorite hymns.  (I'll put the entire hymn at the end of the post.  For now, this particular verse seems especially appropriate for those of us surrounded by flood waters.):

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,

The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o'erflow,
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,

And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

(How Firm a Foundation, attr. to Robert Keen)

As I look ahead to what will be expected of me in the coming weeks-- as I prepare to take care of myself and my own sorrows, as I prepare to (maybe) open my home to a family who has experienced sorrow of their own, and as I think of all my students and their families who are without working houses and will need my emotional support-- I realize that I am not strong enough.  Or brave enough.  Or capable enough.  I'm just not.  But, through my faith, the Lord will, somehow, help me to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  He'll help me push along so that I can be strong, and brave, and capable.

May He do the same for all of you who, at this time and always, need Him too.


How Firm a Foundation

How firm a foundation, ye Saints of the Lord,
is laid for your faith in his excellent word!
What more can he say than to you he hath said,
Who unto the Savior for refuge have fled?

In ev'ry condition--in sickness, in health,
In poverty's vale or abounding in wealth.
At home or abroad, on the land or the sea--
As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be.

Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o'erflow,
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.

E'en down to old age, all my people shall prove
My sov'reign, eternal, unchangeable love;
And then, when gray hair shall their temples adorn,
Like lambs shall they still in my bosom be borne.

The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose
I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I'll never, no never, no never forsake!

Eternal Families

Remember that forgiveness thing I just posted about?  Rather fortuitous, I'd say.  Today I came home to a surprise that broke my heart into teeny-tiny pieces.  On my living room floor I found a mess of feathers and a cage short one bird.  My sweet little Odysseus.  He used to sing and dance whenever I'd play the piano for him.  He'd actually let me hold him and scratch his head.  And there he was.  Scattered.

It's been a rough week already, and this seemed to be the straw that broke the camel's back.  (I'm the camel.)  I keep thinking of all the things I could have done to prevent this from happening.  I can't help but feel it's all my fault.  Such a sweet little spirit, gone.  Because I'm not smart enough to lock the dogs up while I'm at work.

After coming to grips with the situation, I wrapped my little Odysseus up (what was left of him), kissed the wrapping, and placed him gently in a decorated box.  I set the box on the piano and played his favorite songs-- the ones he especially enjoyed.  Such a sweet bird.

The hardest part has been listening to his wifey, Penelope.  She relied on him a lot.  She has this special call that she does whenever she's separated from him....  Poor little gal has been calling for him all evening and all night.  Before sitting down to write this, all I could do was crouch by her cage and apologize, over and over, that her sweet-heart left us so unexpectedly.  My stomach collapses even now when I think of her sitting in that cage by herself tonight, no one there to cuddle her and keep her warm.  I've never lost a spouse, but I see a little of myself in Penelope as she sits there alone.

It takes me back to all those times when I've comforted the widows I've known.  In a way, now when I look at my Penelope, I see them.  One day, they were enjoying the company of their beloved, and the next-- well... the next, they're entirely and utterly displaced as they try to make sense of their new life.

Most people, I think, have felt that.  All people should expect to feel this loss at some point.  I think that we should, because feeling loss helps us to recognize that whatever we lost meant something to us.  I think this loss is sensed the greatest, at least for me, when a family member is lost.

How thankful I am that death is not the end!  To know that, through following the teachings of Jesus Christ, I can be reunited with my family.  My family will always be my family.  My grandparents, parents, siblings, and all other family members are bound to me, and I am bound to them, if we can stand fast in our resolve to live correctly.  What a wonderful thought that, someday, should I ever get married and have kids that those family members will be mine for eternity too.  I don't believe that Heavenly Father gives us something so perfect as our families only to take them away forever.

Something that Mormons are often criticized for is our belief that, even in death, a person can choose what to believe and what to follow.  Everyone is given the chance to accept the truths that will save them, whether they hear those truths in life or in death.  Every family that has ever been, that is, or that ever will be has that same blessed opportunity to seal themselves together, to never suffer separation again.

Death is only a temporary goodbye.  Families are meant to be eternal.  Right now, I hope that it's the same way for birds.

Forgiveness

A teacher's schedule is often difficult to predict.  None of us follow contract time.  If we did, there's no way we'd have time to accomplish all of our daily tasks.  We wake up, everyday, knowing that we're going in early and coming home late.  The only question is how early and how late.

Today was one of those days where I had to stay in a little later than expected.  Upon coming home, I rushed the dogs outside and then made my rounds of the house to see if anything interesting had happened to it while I was at work.  (You never know.  Maybe someday someone will break in and leave an itinerary for a paid SCUBA vacation on my table.  It could happen.)  Anyway, as I was checking one of the downstairs bedrooms, I noticed that one of my dogs just couldn't wait to be let out.  He decided it would be all right to take a number two on my beige carpet....  Not a very good surprise to come home to.  I'd definitely prefer that SCUBA vacation.

Now, I realize that I could spend the rest of the night shunning the poor dog for doing what he needed to do.  Or I can forgive him for being what he is-- a dog who just can't hold it in when he needs to poop.  I know the option that he'd prefer, and-- honestly-- it's the option that I'd prefer too.  There are enough important things to worry about, and this isn't one of them.

Of course, there are situations when it's all right to forgive but NOT forget.  If some kid keeps using my EXPO markers (which are in high demand in 4th grade) and breaking them, I'm not going to hold it against him/her forever and ever.  However, unless s/he learns how to take care of my stuff, s/he definitely isn't going to get to borrow any more markers.  Being naive and being forgiving are two different things.

I'm getting a lot better at forgiving, and I think it's because I'm not quite as proud as I used to be.  Isn't it interesting how forgiveness goes along with so many other virtues-- humility, compassion, love?  I find that when I'm primarily concerned with myself, I tend to be very defensive.  Everything is about me, and every wrong done against me is taken very personally.  I'm not so likely to forgive.  However, when another becomes my primary concern, I find that it's not only easy, but natural to forgive those who trespass against me.

Here are some situations where I've found that forgiveness is so crucial:

• Forgive yourself.  I've made so many stupid mistakes in my life, and I've been there for every single one of them.  The question I have to ask myself is, "Am I a person worth forgiving?"  Well-- I know that the value of any person is so immense that it's incomprehensible. While I don't always feel it, I have to recognize that I fall into that category too.  As I tell my students everyday, making mistakes is a great way to learn....  I've sure learned a lot.
• Forgive family.  More than anything.  This one.  I'm sure I've annoyed and hurt my family more than my family has ever annoyed or hurt me.  I'm a brat.  Ask anyone in the family.  I'm the diva.  Good thing that they've forgiven me my shortcomings.  I'm still invited to birthday parties and family gatherings.  My family is still invited to mine.  No matter what.  Maintaining family relationships to me is more important than succeeding in any other endeavor.  As David O. McKay has said, "No other success can compensate for failure in the home."  A family that doesn't forgive is a family that cannot and will not survive.
• Forgive friends.  Just as important as family are friends.  The older I get, the more I realize how difficult it is to stay in touch with old friends.  I also realize how difficult it is to make new friends.  It's all the more reason to hold onto the friends who I have now.  Good friends are hard to come by.  Memories can't be recreated.  Inside jokes can't be reused.  Why throw those, and so much more, away for minor offenses?
• Forgive co-workers.  I'm SO proud to report that I've never been offended by anyone at work.  (Knock on wood.)  Everyday, I'm surrounded by so many amazing teachers.  I look up to all of them, and I take their suggestions and ideas to heart.  I admire their dedication to not only our profession, but I also appreciate their dedication to their goals outside of work.  How thankful I am that they haven't held grudges against me!  That would make work so much more difficult than it needs to be.  I suppose my students could also be considered my "co-workers."  It's important that I forgive them their occasional ill tempers.  I'd rather be outside at recess too.
• Forgive neighbors.  I don't always agree with my neighbors' lifestyles, but I still like to know who they are.  What could I possibly gain from brooding over the misdeeds of someone who happens to live in my neighborhood?  Unless I feel sincerely threatened, it's just best to let some things go.
• Forgive the exes.  I haven't been in many serious relationships, but I've been in a lot of casual ones.  I definitely have experience in being rejected by those who I really, really, really, really liked.  I've had guys break up with me to date my friends.  I've been cheated on.  I've been told that I'm just too (insert undesirable quality here).  I've been told more often that not that I'm "an amazing person, but I just need to pursue what I have with so-and-so first."  (I've been told that so much that I'm pretty sure I'm everyone's second-favorite person on the planet.)  These kinds of situations hurt, and they don't get easier with experience, but there is closure.  That closure doesn't come just by moving on:  True closure comes from forgiveness.
• Forgive God.  A younger version of myself used to think that doing good resulted in immediate and directly correlated good blessings....  A younger version of myself would grow up to be sorely disappointed.  In the words of Jeffrey R. Holland, "Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come."  One thing I love about my faith is our understanding of who God is:  He's a compassionate Heavenly Father who loves us-- his kids-- perfectly.  I don't think God ever curses with bad things.  It's against His nature to want us to suffer.  He's, rather, an understanding parent who lets us experience the consequences of our poor decisions and allows us to be exposed to harsh reality.  Life isn't always great, but it's not His fault.  I know, without a doubt, that when we hurt, Heavenly Father hurts too.  He hurts so much for us, in fact, that He allowed for another of His children, Jesus Christ, to atone for every bad thing that has ever or will ever happen.  How can I not forgive a God who prepared a way to make everything fair in the end?
• Forgive those who don't deserve to be forgiven.  I find it difficult to forgive those who willingly hurt my family.  I find it difficult to forgive politicians who destroy the country that I'm supposed to love.  I find it difficult to forgive people who abuse children.  I find it hard to forgive those who hurt, even kill, others unnecessarily.  If anyone knows how to forgive these kinds of people, please, let me know.  Right now, all I feel I can do about these situations is pray.  Pray hard.

So--yeah.  Forgive.  It's sunshine for the heart.

Legacy

I have a lot of cool ancestors.  Some are royalty and nobility from France, Italy, and England.  Some are peasants from Scotland.  Colonel George Eskridge is my 7th great grandfather:  He was a British attorney who adopted a little girl.  This little girl would grow up to have and raise a son, George Washington.  Maybe you've heard of him?  Those who know European history, or world history for that matter, may have heard of Charlemagne.  Yeah-- we're totally related.  Before that, many of my ancestors are Greek.  One family pedigree chart claims that I'm related to Helen of Troy, but I'd like to see the paper trail on that one before I start bragging about it at parties.  Going even further back, I belong to the House of Israel, the tribe of Ephraim.  Interesting, right?

I guess my point is, all of us come from somewhere.  At some point, all of us will leave a part of ourselves behind for our descendants.  We can be true to the philosophies of our ancestors, or we can reject those philosophies and pass on our own.  It's our choice, and it's a choice that can influence generations of people.  In this sense, every one of us is extremely important in a very literal way.

This year's Sunday school theme is Church History.  In today's lesson, we talked about pioneers.  Mormon pioneers are a little bit different than others.  While many pioneers of the 1800s traveled west in search of land, opportunity, and wealth, my ancestors journeyed west to be left alone.  Many of my ancestors and their friends were threatened and, in many circumstances, killed for what they believed.  In the state of Missouri, where many had settled, it was not only legal but encouraged to kill a Mormon on sight.  (It's history.  Look it up.)  My ancestors gave up everything, some even their lives, for what they believed.  To me, that's a powerful legacy.

One afternoon when I was serving in Harlem, I was confronted on a street corner by a gentleman who, nicely put, wanted to make me look stupid.  That was his goal.  I could tell immediately into our conversation that he wasn't talking with me to learn about me:  He was there to publicly destroy my faith.  After giving me all of the "logical" reasons why Mormonism can't be true, he spouted off some statistic.  Something like, "95% of religious people follow the faith that their parents taught them."  This guy picked a fight with the wrong girl, because I wasn't going to fight.  I told him that he wasn't going to change my mind, and I wasn't going to change his.  I wished him a sincerely happy rest of the day, and I walked away.

Did he seriously think I hadn't thought about all my options?  Of course I had.  I've definitely studied Mormonism, but I've studied a lot of other religions too.  I've considered the option that, maybe, there is no God, and we're purely biological beings.  I've studied every angle.  I've studied things as though I wanted them to be true, and I've studied them as though I didn't want them to be true.  I really wanted to know.  Before I even knew about that "95% statistic," or whatever it is, I didn't want to follow something just because my parents raised me to believe it.

I'm still Mormon.  Not because I'm culturally afraid to change.  Not because I'm afraid my family will shun me if I try something else.  Not because I don't have other options.  I'm still Mormon because I have considered every other option I could think of.  I'm Mormon because I choose to be.

Part of the reason why I decided to stick with it is because of my pioneer ancestors.  Before hearing about the Church, my ancestors were very well off.  (Canadians, if I remember right.)  They gave up all of their possessions, their comforts, and their positions in their communities to get baptized and follow the teachings of a man claiming to be a prophet.  They moved to Kirtland, Ohio and then onto Nauvoo, Illinois.  Driven from place to place.  While working as a missionary, one of my ancestors passed away in a blizzard-- a Book of Mormon in his pocket.  Others pushed their way across the plains.  And for what?  Why would they do that?

The faith of my ancestors is something I can't ignore.  They were well educated.  They were successful.  But this meant little to them when given the invitation to belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  I'm sure they thought through their options, just as I thought through my own.  That means something to me.

Even knowing where I come from, it's still hard.  I haven't had to pack up and walk across the plains with a handcart, but I have been harassed because of what I believe.  I've been threatened, spit on, had things thrown at me, and been chased.  (But don't tell my mom.  She doesn't know some of those missionary stories.)  I've had people send me what I call "anti-literature," or more statistics and stories (which are always taken out of context) claiming absolutely once-and-for-all that Mormonism is an unfounded faith.  I've had these things told to me at school and at home.  I've been called a fool.  And these attacks come from everywhere.  For the Aetheists, I'm too religious and too Christian.  To some Christians, I can't be considered a Christian at all.  So many people would have me believe that they know more about my faith than I do.

I'm so thankful for those experiences, though.  It helps me understand a piece of what my ancestors went through.  And this isn't a new thing either.  Read the Bible.  Study the treatment of Christians during the reign of Roman emperors like Nero.  For me, it is a privilege to stand where my ancestors have stood.  In spite of persecutions and sacrifices, they remained true to their faith.  They had their reasons.

I have my reasons too.  These may not be the same that my ancestors had, but I'm sure some are the same.  Reasons aside, I'm thankful that my ancestors made the choices that they did.  I wouldn't be here otherwise.  So, it is so important that I do the same for those who will come after me.  In my own way, I'm a pioneer too, leaving behind a legacy for my posterity to follow.

Brothers

The worst thing about having four brothers is that whenever we played Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I had to be April.  Unless my sister was being April, then I had to be Slimer from Ghost Busters.  I spent a lot of time sitting in dark rooms waiting for them to rescue me from Shredder.  It was awful.

That's the only bad thing.  I can't think of anything else.  We had our little disagreements here and there, but I can't think of a time -- ever in the history of EVER-- that I wasn't happy to have so many brothers.

My family follows a pattern:  girl, boy, boy, girl, boy, boy, girl.  I'm the girl in the middle, sandwiched between four boys.  And they really are like the Ninja Turtles.  There's Leonardo, the oldest and most adept at leadership, followed by Raphael, the passionate one.  One little brother is characteristically like Donatello-- intelligent, patient, and calm.  The other is a dead-ringer for Michelangelo-- the energetic one who doesn't take things too seriously.

Brothers are important, especially good brothers.  So, sisters, be good to your brothers.  Brothers, be good to your sisters.  Brothers and sisters need each other.  That's all there is to it.

I seem to gravitate toward list making, so here's a list of reasons why brothers are important to their sisters:

• Brothers teach their sisters to be level-headed.
• I can think of so many instances growing up when I'd be going bat-crap-crazy over some silly, non-consequential thing.  It'd go down like, "Oh my gosh, brother!  I can't believe that my favorite sweatshirt is missing!  Missing?!  What am I going to do?!  My life is OVER!"...  Usually, they wouldn't even have to say anything.  Especially the younger ones.  They'd just look at me and shrug, so as to say, "You're overreacting.  Go over there until you calm down."  If it weren't for my brothers, I'd probably still be that girl who loses it over a lost sweatshirt.
• Brothers teach their sisters how girls deserve to be treated.
•  We didn't have very many rules in my house growing up, but we certainly had to follow the rules we did have.  One of the important ones was the necessity of treating women with respect.  And my brothers did.  Some girls feel like they need to prance around in a tiara, with their nose stuck in the air, in order to be treated like a princess.  I never needed to do that, because I was treated like a princess.  My brothers respected me.  We were equal:  My brothers might even say that their sisters had it easier than they did... which is probably true.  I never had to worry about being inferior.  I'd be willing to bet that most well-adjusted, confident women have brothers (or brother figures) who helped them to grow that way.
• Besides equality, they taught me what to expect in relationships-- whether it be friendships or more.  Any boy who wouldn't treat me like my brothers did was, simply put, not a boyfriend candidate.  I always tend to judge guys based on my brothers too.  Sorry, guys:  If you don't have the common sense of Leonardo, the zeal of Raphael, the tranquility of Donatello, and the enthusiasm for life of Michelangelo, you just won't measure up.
• Brothers teach their sisters how guys deserve to be treated.
• Sometimes my brothers would go on dates with girls who I didn't like very much.  These girls would act innocent, but I knew their ways.  I'm a girl too, after all.  I know the games that we know how to play, and I hated it when girls would mess with my brothers.  I learned, at a fairly young age, that girls should not play mind games with the men in their lives.  I vowed never to be like those girls who didn't treat my brothers well.  Even today, even when a guy is particularly irritating, I try to remember that he's probably someone's brother.  I need to treat him the same way that I'd hope my brothers would be treated.
• Brothers teach their sisters how to present themselves to the world.
• Imagine this:  I walk down the stairs wearing something that I thought was cute.  Maybe a little bit on the immodest side, but so cute!  A brother looks at me and says, "Really?  You sure you wanna wear that?"  (That's brother talk for, "You look sleazy.  You shouldn't go out wearing that.")  Boys and girls think differently about things.  It's biological.  I always appreciated the perspective they gave me whenever I ventured outside the house.  No doubt that our world would be a much better place if there were more caring brothers who would look at their sisters and say, "Really?  You sure you wanna wear that?"
• Brothers teach their sisters how to stick up for themselves
• I'm not kidding.  Leonardo taught me how to verbally lash out at people if they try to take advantage of me.  Raphael taught me how to break someone's arm or shin or neck if they try to grab me.  Donatello and Michelangelo taught me how to avoid situations where either of those skills would need to be put to use.  Instead, they taught me about the finer points of waging psychological warfare on humanity in general.  Because of my brothers, I have peace of mind.  I know that I can do this independent, living on my own thing.  I can stand on my own two feet.  Thanks to them.
• Brothers introduce their sisters to "cool" things.
• My brothers are my best friends.  (My sisters too, but their post will be later.)  Honestly.  Almost all of my interests stem from one of my brothers introducing it to me.  It makes me a little... OK, a lot... nerdy, but I don't care.  I like LEGOS, and Star Wars, and Big Bang Theory, and Dr. Who, and videogames, and football, and exploding things, and protein shakes, and comic books, and building things, and trying to lift things that are probably too heavy for me.  If I think something is funny or worthwhile, chances are I learned about it from one of my brothers.
• Brothers get married and add to the family.
• This is important.  Brothers grow up.  If your brothers are anything like mine, they've married (or will marry) a wife who I like better than them.  The only difference between my sisters-in-law and my biological sisters is just that, the biology.  Thank goodness I was nice enough to my brothers that I get to be friends with their spouses!  Don't even get me started on their kids-- the nieces and nephews.  A perfect day is a day when I get to be surrounded by all of my nieces and nephews.  It's a day when I get to teach them all of the games that I used to play with my brothers.

In a sense, I believe that we're all brothers and sisters.  Not everyone is as blessed (and that is the word for it) to have four brothers like mine.  However, that shouldn't stop anyone from trying to be a guiding, protective, caring, and patient brother or sister to those around them.  Brothers need good sisters.  Sisters need good brothers.  End of story.

Refocus

Today was one of those days.  I hate to be one to publicly complain.  I don't even like to privately complain.  The mantra "cowboy (or cowgirl) up" definitely applies in most situations that try to get under my skin.  Toughen up.  Rub some dirt in it.

I hope you don't mind a quick rant, though.

Teaching is really hard.  Really, really, really hard.  So hard that, at the end of the day, I can't think of a more sophisticated word than "really" to use.  I'm so tired, inside and out.

Today was one of those days.  (Like I said.)  One of those days when my kids didn't want to listen.  One of those days when I was hard on myself, because more of my kids should have passed that math test!  I told them!  I prepared them!  They had it before!  Why don't they have it now?!  What am I doing wrong?!  What do I need to do differently tomorrow that I didn't do today?  And why is it that there's always a student or two who know how to test my every classroom management tactic, how to not so inadvertently waste time all day long, and how to make me take it personally and think it's my fault.

There's no such thing as a perfect teacher.  I get that.  It still bugs me, though.  As a teacher, I try not to take it personally when days like this happen.  But it is personal.  These are my students, and they are important to me, whether they want to be or not.  I like to think that if they knew how much I want the best for them, some may try a little harder when I'm introducing vocabulary words.  I wish I could express to them how many meticulous hours I spend obsessing over the little things that would make my lessons more effective or more interesting.  I wish a lot of things when it comes to my students.  Mostly I wish for their success and happiness.

Another thing is, I never expected to be in this position.  It's strange.  Whenever I was in high school or college, I would look ahead and plan my future.  I would get a degree, serve a mission, maybe work a year or two, and then settle down and get married-- enter family.  Be a mom and grandma until I die.  End scene.

None of this was ever supposed to happen.  I was never supposed to be in a third-year-teaching situation.  I was never meant to deal with good teaching days or boring teaching days or horrible teaching days.  It wasn't supposed to be like this!  I'm supposed to be somewhere else living a different life!  An easier life.

But life isn't easy, is it?  I can't speak for others, but I can definitely speak for myself:  Things rarely turn out the way I expect them to.  I've gotten much better at being OK with that.  Even today, I know that battling with my students (well, some of them anyway) will make me a better teacher in the long run.  So long as I let my challenges, setbacks, and failures refine instead of define.  I'm a teacher who fails sometimes (and learns from it), but I am not a failing teacher.

Time to stop worrying about "what if" and to start addressing "what is."  Time to refocus, regroup, and try again tomorrow.

Oh-- and here's a poem I wrote a while ago, but I think it applies today.  Gracias y buenas noches.

What do you do when you feel out of place,
like the seasons have left you behind?
That there are blessings deserved and promises made,
But some that you still can't quite find?
Postponing and patience and waiting,
the lessons you thought you had learned
are present and ever reminding
of some things which you thought you had earned.

What do you do when the challenge or choice
is something you don't understand?
When you don't feel the guidance or loving support,
Yet you've prayed and done all that you can?
Confusing and empty and lonely,
Wandering around as one mentally blind.
Is it righteous to act without knowing
the consequences or results you might find?

What do you do when you're striving
to serve and to make the world right?
When your back, from the pressure, is breaking
and you're running out of that internal light.
Blessings and justice and mercy,
knocked off balance like an out-of-tune song.
Beginning to consider telling the Lord how
His purposes and placements are wrong.

Shallow is the heart without trouble.
Selfish is the untested soul.
It's best that we live and face trial
as the Carpenter builds to make whole.
Breaking and tearing and mending,
with His skillful and crucified hand.
And so the faithful will let Him continue,
til they've become as the Great I am.

Worth It

Did you know that some people actually have to budget?  I did, but I never thought I'd have to be one of "those people" who has to carefully plan out how every dollar needs to be spent.  My budgeting is still a work in progress, but I'm getting better at not throwing every shiny thing I see into my shopping cart when I'm at the store.  I avoid Target, and I don't even bother going near items that aren't on my list.

However...

I still struggle.  I like stuff.  Especially girly stuff like shoes and clothes and home decorations.  Especially music downloads.  Especially office supplies that would look SO cute on my desk.

That's when I have to ask myself, "Is it worth it?"

Is it worth it to buy these things, knowing that I may risk going over-budget and into a debt that I may not be able to climb out of?  (Yes, I ended that sentence with a preposition.  Sue me.)  Is it worth it to put back some of the items I actually need for something that I only want?  Is it worth it?

That question applies to a lot of things for me right now.  Is it worth it to exercise when I'm too doggone tired to climb out of my car after work?  Is it worth it to cook a healthy dinner for myself when Taco Bell isn't too far away?  Is it worth it to keep up on the house maintenance, or is it OK to let a few things slide here and there?  Sometimes these are easy questions to answer.  Sometimes they're not.

There are even more important "worth it" questions to consider.  Most single Mormons at my age tend to fall away from the Mormon Church.  In fact, they tend to fall away from religion in general.  They have the right to do that-- I'm not judging.  They tend to leave, little by little, as they start letting things slide, here and there.  I wonder if they considered "is it worth it?"

Here are a few things that are definitely "worth it" to me, even though I may not be following popular lifestyle protocol in so doing:

• It is worth it to stay away from alcohol.   
• The only alcohol I've ever had has come in cough syrup form.  Understand, please, that I don't think drinking alcohol makes someone a bad person.  Many of my nearest and dearest friends have an occasional drink or a glass of wine at dinner.  I would never consider myself better than them.  But, for me, alcohol isn't even a temptation.  Why would I willingly put something into myself if I know that it'll make me feel like garbage later?  Why would I willingly put something into myself that shuts down my brain responses and kills my liver?  It isn't worth it.

• It is worth it to stay away from harmful use of drugs.  
•  Prescription drugs are all right so long as they aren't abused.  Even a good and helpful thing can become a bad and harmful thing if used incorrectly or used too often.  I may not have the supermodel body that I'm working for, but I respect my body enough to only put into it what it deserves.  If I treat my body well, it will treat me well.

• It is worth it to pay tithing.   
• For those who don't know, I pay a 10% tithe on every dollar that I earn.  (A $2,000 paycheck would equal a $200 tithe, plus whatever I decide to donate for the Church's food bank.)  Over the course of a year, that money really adds up.  There are times when I calculate what else I could do with that money.  But it isn't worth it.  I'm not going to go into detail here why I cheerfully pay my tithing every month.  I promise, though, that I'm always taken care of.  I always have what I need.

• It is worth it to keep the Sabbath Day holy.   
• I don't go shopping on Sunday.  I don't go to the movies on Sunday.  I don't participate in any sports or go to restaurants on Sunday.  In college and high school, I wouldn't do homework on Sunday.  To this day, I don't do anything work related on the Lord's Day.  Ever.  It isn't worth it.  (Unless I'm dying and need medication.  Then I don't mind stopping by Wal-Greens to get sleep-inducing NyQuil.)  Sometimes I feel inclined to grade a few papers or fill out a few forms, but I made a promise when I was baptized at age 8.  I promised that I would keep every commandment, including this one.  Promises are important.  The cool thing about keeping the Sabbath Day holy is that I always-- ALWAYS-- have time in excess to get the things done which need to be done.  Imagine having one entire day devoted to meditation, service, and time with family and yet still having time in abundance to accomplish necessary tasks.  That's what keeping the Sabbath Day holy is like.

• It is worth it to date inside the Church. 
•  I struggle with this one the most.  I don't have the luxury of being surrounded by attractive Mormon men who have the burning desire to date me.  Again.  That's all right.  99.9% of the time, I really couldn't care less.  That other .1% of the time is the tricky thing.  In the last few years, I've gotten acquainted with so many different guys-- not Mormon-- who I would love to get to know better.  I'd love to go out with them.  But is it worth it?  
•  If I had only myself to think about, then honestly, yes.  It would be worth it.  I would do it, date someone who isn't of my faith.  The thing is, I'm not at that age anymore where dating is just for fun.  Dating is for getting serious, and serious is for getting married.  If marriage is in the cards for me, I hope my hypothetical spouse doesn't mind having a honeymoon baby.  And then new babies after that as quickly as my body and our finances can handle.  It's those kids who I think about.
• My kids (who I recognize may never exist) deserve to have a father like the father I have.  They deserve to have a father like he had, who is also like the father who my mother has.  I don't expect everyone to understand this, but my potential/hypothetical/non-existent children deserve to have a father who holds the Priesthood.  The power to act in God's name, to give them blessings of guidance and health.  To teach them the things that my father and grandfathers have taught me.  It may not be worth it for me to date inside the Mormon Church, but it is definitely worth it for them.

• It is worth it to save sex for marriage.
• I don't know why I feel inclined to share this, but, in spite of its personal nature, I will.  Yes, I'm 26.  Yes, I'm a virgin.  Proud of it too.  I've never even degraded myself enough to put myself in a situation where I'd put this virginity at risk.  IT'S NOT WORTH IT!  I have a body and hormones that function just fine, thanks.  But my body doesn't control me.  I'm in charge, and I say abstinence is crucial to maintaining a healthy spirit and self-image.  It certainly doesn't hurt in keeping a healthy body either.  There are so many nasty plagues in this world that I can put out of my mind.  I'm never going to have to face the dilemma of an unwanted pregnancy.  Religious or not, this is a smart way to live.  You'd be surprised how many people agree with me.

The temporal and physical benefits of keeping these promises is clear.  That's not the main reason why I do it though.  I follow these guidelines out of an understanding that I have a spirit inside me to take care of as well.  There's no faster way to kill a spirit than to decide, "No, it's not worth it."  Should I ever do that with any of these points, I guarantee that a piece of that spirit will shrink.  I'll only be a fragment of the person I could (and should) be.  It's worth it to me to keep these promises for that reason alone.

I better get off my soap-box now.  I'm sure I've met my quota for offending others tonight.  That wasn't my goal, though, offending people.  The good-- no, GREAT-- news is that I don't judge.  It's not my place.  If you don't think these things are worth it, then don't follow it.  If, though, you haven't asked yourself these questions, maybe you should start.  Maybe it's worth it to change.

Date Ideas

When I was growing up, it always seemed like I had a balanced mix of friends-- some boys, some girls, some Mormon, some not, some athletic, some musical, some artistic, some reckless, and others reserved.  Something interesting has happened, though, very recently.  Ever since serving my mission and coming home, the majority of my close friends and acquaintances are girls.  Everything else is still fairly balanced.  This is the only thing that's changed.

I'm glad it's that way, though.  Most of my guy-friends are married now, and it would be extremely inappropriate for me to carry on a friendship with them when they should be focused on their respective families.  I suppose this post can be for friends like those.  Here are some ideas for what you can do for your wife!  Even married people need to go on dates.  (Especially married people need to go on dates.  Gotta keep that love alive.)

Another funny observation:  With the exception of one or two, all of the girls with whom I associate now have mentioned how hard it is to get asked out on a date nowadays.  They talk about how they feel sub-par-- that if they could be smarter or prettier or funnier, maybe they would get asked out every now and again.  (Not kidding, guys.  You're really hurting their feelings.)  The sad thing is, my friends are beautiful, intelligent, and hilarious.  A guy would have a hard time finding better.  So why are all of us girls hanging out every weekend when we (at least some of us) should be on a date?...  I'm old-fashioned.  Boys, ask my friends out.  They're awesome.  They deserve a good time.  I know you'll love spending time with them as much as I do.  I. DARE. YOU.

To help you out, here are some inexpensive and fun ideas that you can use WHEN you take my friends (or your wife) on dates:

• Go hiking.  You can't go wrong frolicking in meadows.  Heck-- I do this by myself whenever I get the chance.  It's amazing.  Pack a picnic.
• Go star gazing.  We're not talking "let's lie next to each other, look up at the sky, and hope that it turns into a make-out session" star gazing.  We're talking legit "let's use this star map to find constellations, planets, and stars" star gazing.  Tell the constellations' stories.  Eat moon pies.
• Throw a rave.  Buy a bunch of glow-sticks, stage a club in your basement, and add music.  Serve mocktails (cocktails minus the alcohol).  Keep it clean.  It's not a real rave, after all.
• Have a themed dinner and a movie.  Choose a foreign film and cook a meal to go with it.  Chinese movie, meet Chinese food.  Bollywood movie, meet Indian food.  Japanese movie, meet sushi.  British movie, meet fish and chips.  Get it?  There are a lot of possibilities here.
• Don't go bowling in formal wear.  Seriously.  Don't.  This idea isn't clever and cute.  It's stupid.  If you make my friends do this, I'll give them permission to punch you in the throat.
• Have a mini-bonfire.  All you need is a fire pit.  Roast marshmallows, and then see who roasts them better.  See who can create the best smore recipe.  See who has the scariest ghost story.
• Volunteer.  Every community has a need of some kind.  Go serve the community.  It's a great way to get to know each other.  Not sure where to go?  Here's a site that will give you some ideas:  http://www.justserve.org/
• Record a song together.  Got a cell phone that records sounds?  Great!  Got an iPad or laptop with recording capabilities?  Even better!  Think of it as karaoke + music video....  Music video....  That's a great idea!
• Play video games.  Despite contrary belief, girls like video games too.  Why not play video games together?  Seems simple enough.  Make sure you play multi-player games, and not the kind that say they're multi-player, but they're really not.  Don't forget the classics.  You can't go wrong with Mario Kart.
• At Christmastime, go caroling.  It doesn't matter if you know your neighbors or not.  If you don't think your neighborhood is safe, first of all-- man up and carry a gun.  Second of all, you can go caroling anywhere.  It doesn't matter if you know the people you're singing to or not.  (Although you may want to go to homes with Christmas lights to avoid offending someone who doesn't celebrate Christmas.)  End the night with hot chocolate or apple cider.
• Bake something and then give it away.  Cook something together and then give the goodies away to friends and neighbors.  Ding-dong-ditch the cupcakes/bread/cookies/brownies/whatever-you-made and watch your neighbors' reactions using binoculars.
• Make something.  Paint a picture.  Build a birdhouse.  Make jewelry.  It's girly.  It's cute.  It's fun.  If she's an artsy kind of girl, she'll love it.
• Nerf gun war.  Hide behind furniture.  Enough said.
• Visit historical sites.  Most towns (all towns, in fact) have a unique history.  Dig into that history and go to your town's landmarks.
• Study family history together.  Not everyone would like this, but I know some would.  Go to ancestry.com to find ancestors.  Visit a family history center-- most libraries and Mormon churches have some kind of a family history program already in place.  These programs, as far as I know, are free to the public.
• Learn how to dance.  You don't have to take dance lessons either.  There are plenty of YouTube tutorials you can follow.  If you're not into learning how to waltz, then learn the choreography to "Thriller."

I feel like I could go on.  I might.  Feel free to add your ideas in the comments below.

And, guys, I've given you a lot of great ideas.  Ask my friends to do some of these things with you!

Also, ladies, it wouldn't kill you to ask the guys out either.  If they say no, it's their loss.

Movies

Three day weekends are awesome.  They give me the chance to spend time with my family in Cheyenne.  (We're going to the shooting range tomorrow.  Can't you see how happy I am?!?!)

Anyway, today after church, my Dad and I were talking about our favorite movies.  Can we take a minute to appreciate that one of his favorites is "The Little Mermaid?"...(Pause and wait a minute.  I'm serious.)

Good-- and by "good," I mean to say "wholesome"-- entertainment is hard to come by.  There's so much smut on television and in the theaters that I wish we'd stop endorsing.  Movies aren't evil, though.  Through movies I've learned a lot of valuable lessons, discovered powerful role models, and developed unhealthy crushes on fictional characters.  (Captain America, anyone?...  No?...  OK, more for me then.  Will Turner from Pirates of the Caribbean?...  All right.  I'll take him too.)

Here's a list of my Top 5 favorite movies:

5.  Meet Joe Black
It has nothing to do with Brad Pitt being in it.  (Although, I would be lying if I said I didn't think Mr. Pitt has done a wonderful job of aging well.)  There's only one scene to be wary of:  The rest are totally family appropriate.  The best part of the movie (spoilers) is when Anthony Hopkins' character asks if he should be afraid to die.  Death (aka Brad Pitt) responds by saying, "Not a man like you."  It leads me to wonder what kind of monuments I'll leave behind when I pass away.  I can leave behind a massive estate, a happy family, or I can leave behind both of those things.  It's nice to know that wealth, whether in money or relationships, doesn't have to corrupt a person.

4.   Slumdog Millionaire
Stop judging me, Pharisaical Mormons.  I don't watch rated R movies, but when I do, I make sure that they're entirely appropriate and only rated R because whoever did the rating was too lazy to actually watch the movie and assumed it would be rated R because it came from a different country.  I love Bollywood movies, particularly the comedic ones.  However, Slumdog is the only foreign film to make my favorite all-time movie list.  I love the fact that someone who has every right to be bitter, to hate the world, to be selfish, and to seek revenge on others chooses not to do so.  It taught me that true goodness should not, and cannot, be corrupted by circumstances.  A truly amazing person knows how to rise above their circumstances even when it isn't the easiest thing.  This film also shows the true and gruesome consequences for those who choose to become bitter and vengeful.  (Les Miserable also taught me this lesson.  The movie would have made the list, but I liked the Broadway production a little bit better.)

3.   Lord of the Rings:  The Return of the King
One does not simply discuss their love of the Lord of the Rings trilogy in one paragraph.  It's a classic example of good vs. evil.  And evil does exist.  I don't care much for philosophy that leaves morals and ethics open for discussion.  Right is right, and wrong is wrong.  Truth is truth, even if no one believes it.  And truth is worth fighting for.  Goodness is worth keeping.  I just love everything about this movie.  The music, the cinematography, the acting, the writing.  I love it so much, I can even tolerate that it could end about 15 minutes before it does.  (PS:  Yes.  I know.  I'm a big fat loser nerd who likes elves and hobbits and wizards and Aragorn.  I already know.)

2.  Nicholas Nickelby
Not many people have heard of this one.  It's based on a Charles Dickens novel.  (He's one of my favorite authors, by the way.  He has great insight into human character and society.)  I highly recommend this one.  Character development is very well done.  (My dad just said so.  He's helping with this one.)  Dickens has a very common theme in many of his stories:  Wealth is not based upon possessions and power.  Wealth is based upon relationships with others.  (Thanks, Dad, for the insight.)  I also appreciate that Nicholas Nickelby is a young person who isn't afraid to stand up to those in authority when those in authority use their power to abuse others.  If you haven't seen this movie, watch it now.  I think it's on Netflix.

1.  Mulan
Yes, my favorite movie is a Disney cartoon.  Yes, I realize how childish that makes me look.  In my defense, I could have chosen some sophisticated movie like Citizen Kane (that I'm convinced most people don't really like, but they pretend they do so they can sound important during cinematic discussions).  At least I didn't choose something incredibly stupid like Mars Attacks or The (Freaking) Notebook or anything that has Jim Carey in it....  At any rate, back to Mulan:  Any movie that has musical numbers in it is a plus.  Make that a Donny Osmond musical number, and I'm one happy camper.  However, there's more to it than that.  I so much identify with Mulan.  She doesn't really fit with her culture, and while mourning her inability to fit into that culture, her father tells her simply, "What beautiful blossoms we have this year.  But look, this one is late.  But I bet, that when it blooms, it will be the most rare and beautiful of all."  The love that Mulan shares with her father and family is what drives her to go against the societal norms.  In so doing, she grows into the person she was meant to be all along.  Some of us just grow differently than others, and that's all right.

So, there it is.  That's my movie list, and I'm sticking to it.