Worth It

Did you know that some people actually have to budget?  I did, but I never thought I'd have to be one of "those people" who has to carefully plan out how every dollar needs to be spent.  My budgeting is still a work in progress, but I'm getting better at not throwing every shiny thing I see into my shopping cart when I'm at the store.  I avoid Target, and I don't even bother going near items that aren't on my list.

However...

I still struggle.  I like stuff.  Especially girly stuff like shoes and clothes and home decorations.  Especially music downloads.  Especially office supplies that would look SO cute on my desk.

That's when I have to ask myself, "Is it worth it?"

Is it worth it to buy these things, knowing that I may risk going over-budget and into a debt that I may not be able to climb out of?  (Yes, I ended that sentence with a preposition.  Sue me.)  Is it worth it to put back some of the items I actually need for something that I only want?  Is it worth it?

That question applies to a lot of things for me right now.  Is it worth it to exercise when I'm too doggone tired to climb out of my car after work?  Is it worth it to cook a healthy dinner for myself when Taco Bell isn't too far away?  Is it worth it to keep up on the house maintenance, or is it OK to let a few things slide here and there?  Sometimes these are easy questions to answer.  Sometimes they're not.

There are even more important "worth it" questions to consider.  Most single Mormons at my age tend to fall away from the Mormon Church.  In fact, they tend to fall away from religion in general.  They have the right to do that-- I'm not judging.  They tend to leave, little by little, as they start letting things slide, here and there.  I wonder if they considered "is it worth it?"

Here are a few things that are definitely "worth it" to me, even though I may not be following popular lifestyle protocol in so doing:

• It is worth it to stay away from alcohol.   
• The only alcohol I've ever had has come in cough syrup form.  Understand, please, that I don't think drinking alcohol makes someone a bad person.  Many of my nearest and dearest friends have an occasional drink or a glass of wine at dinner.  I would never consider myself better than them.  But, for me, alcohol isn't even a temptation.  Why would I willingly put something into myself if I know that it'll make me feel like garbage later?  Why would I willingly put something into myself that shuts down my brain responses and kills my liver?  It isn't worth it.

• It is worth it to stay away from harmful use of drugs.  
•  Prescription drugs are all right so long as they aren't abused.  Even a good and helpful thing can become a bad and harmful thing if used incorrectly or used too often.  I may not have the supermodel body that I'm working for, but I respect my body enough to only put into it what it deserves.  If I treat my body well, it will treat me well.

• It is worth it to pay tithing.   
• For those who don't know, I pay a 10% tithe on every dollar that I earn.  (A $2,000 paycheck would equal a $200 tithe, plus whatever I decide to donate for the Church's food bank.)  Over the course of a year, that money really adds up.  There are times when I calculate what else I could do with that money.  But it isn't worth it.  I'm not going to go into detail here why I cheerfully pay my tithing every month.  I promise, though, that I'm always taken care of.  I always have what I need.

• It is worth it to keep the Sabbath Day holy.   
• I don't go shopping on Sunday.  I don't go to the movies on Sunday.  I don't participate in any sports or go to restaurants on Sunday.  In college and high school, I wouldn't do homework on Sunday.  To this day, I don't do anything work related on the Lord's Day.  Ever.  It isn't worth it.  (Unless I'm dying and need medication.  Then I don't mind stopping by Wal-Greens to get sleep-inducing NyQuil.)  Sometimes I feel inclined to grade a few papers or fill out a few forms, but I made a promise when I was baptized at age 8.  I promised that I would keep every commandment, including this one.  Promises are important.  The cool thing about keeping the Sabbath Day holy is that I always-- ALWAYS-- have time in excess to get the things done which need to be done.  Imagine having one entire day devoted to meditation, service, and time with family and yet still having time in abundance to accomplish necessary tasks.  That's what keeping the Sabbath Day holy is like.

• It is worth it to date inside the Church. 
•  I struggle with this one the most.  I don't have the luxury of being surrounded by attractive Mormon men who have the burning desire to date me.  Again.  That's all right.  99.9% of the time, I really couldn't care less.  That other .1% of the time is the tricky thing.  In the last few years, I've gotten acquainted with so many different guys-- not Mormon-- who I would love to get to know better.  I'd love to go out with them.  But is it worth it?  
•  If I had only myself to think about, then honestly, yes.  It would be worth it.  I would do it, date someone who isn't of my faith.  The thing is, I'm not at that age anymore where dating is just for fun.  Dating is for getting serious, and serious is for getting married.  If marriage is in the cards for me, I hope my hypothetical spouse doesn't mind having a honeymoon baby.  And then new babies after that as quickly as my body and our finances can handle.  It's those kids who I think about.
• My kids (who I recognize may never exist) deserve to have a father like the father I have.  They deserve to have a father like he had, who is also like the father who my mother has.  I don't expect everyone to understand this, but my potential/hypothetical/non-existent children deserve to have a father who holds the Priesthood.  The power to act in God's name, to give them blessings of guidance and health.  To teach them the things that my father and grandfathers have taught me.  It may not be worth it for me to date inside the Mormon Church, but it is definitely worth it for them.

• It is worth it to save sex for marriage.
• I don't know why I feel inclined to share this, but, in spite of its personal nature, I will.  Yes, I'm 26.  Yes, I'm a virgin.  Proud of it too.  I've never even degraded myself enough to put myself in a situation where I'd put this virginity at risk.  IT'S NOT WORTH IT!  I have a body and hormones that function just fine, thanks.  But my body doesn't control me.  I'm in charge, and I say abstinence is crucial to maintaining a healthy spirit and self-image.  It certainly doesn't hurt in keeping a healthy body either.  There are so many nasty plagues in this world that I can put out of my mind.  I'm never going to have to face the dilemma of an unwanted pregnancy.  Religious or not, this is a smart way to live.  You'd be surprised how many people agree with me.

The temporal and physical benefits of keeping these promises is clear.  That's not the main reason why I do it though.  I follow these guidelines out of an understanding that I have a spirit inside me to take care of as well.  There's no faster way to kill a spirit than to decide, "No, it's not worth it."  Should I ever do that with any of these points, I guarantee that a piece of that spirit will shrink.  I'll only be a fragment of the person I could (and should) be.  It's worth it to me to keep these promises for that reason alone.

I better get off my soap-box now.  I'm sure I've met my quota for offending others tonight.  That wasn't my goal, though, offending people.  The good-- no, GREAT-- news is that I don't judge.  It's not my place.  If you don't think these things are worth it, then don't follow it.  If, though, you haven't asked yourself these questions, maybe you should start.  Maybe it's worth it to change.