What Matters Most

It's been a while since my last post.  For good reasons, though.  This school year has proved to be the most challenging yet.  It seems that every hypothetical "bad" situation that I studied as a university student decided to show up in my classroom all at once.

Of course, I might be a bit dramatic.  But, nonetheless, I've certainly had to pour my every waking moment into rising to the challenges I've been assigned to meet.  And I feel that I'm failing.  Miserably.

That being said, as I've struggled to meet those demands, I've realized something....  It doesn't matter as much as I used to think that it did.

As I write this, I think of my Gramies lying in her hospital bed.  We're getting ready to move her into hospice.  Yesterday, as she spoke with doctors and nurses, someone asked her what her job had been.  She answered by saying, "The best job there is.  I'm a grandma."  It was important.  It is important.  Being a grandma, that is.  Being a good one.  Gramies is an excellent grandmother, and I think she takes greater pride in that than in any other thing she has accomplished in her 88 years.

So, that matters.

I guess I've gotten caught up in trying to jump through hoops, make myself look good on paper, rather than actually being good and focusing on those things which actually matter.  It's like working, spinning my wheels, all without actually accomplishing anything of real importance.  It's like driving on the interstate--keeping my eye on the reflector poles rather than on the road ahead of me.

In a couple of minutes here, I'll be heading back to the hospital.  Maybe I'll take my violin or my singing voice.  I don't know.  But, one thing I do know, is that I'm ready to refocus myself on those things which actually matter.

Here's my list:

1. Children.  How many of society's issues would be solved if every child knew that they were genuinely loved?  Regardless of their outward appearance, talents, shortcomings, and report card scores?  What if every child grew up knowing that they are important?  What if every child grew up knowing that others are important too?  My students may not leave my classroom this year knowing long division, but--as God as my witness--I will do my utmost to teach them this.
2. Family and friends.  As a very wise Thomas S. Monson has said, "Never let a problem to be solve become more important than a person to be loved."  May I never again get so caught up in the day-to-day battles that I forget to love those around me and be aware of them.
3. My relationship with Jesus Christ.  I try to get along without being overly preach-y.  I believe that all people have to right to believe in whatever God they choose.  Or no god at all.  But, as is said in the Bible, "As for me...[I] will serve the Lord."  That being said, I can personally testify that an understanding of who Jesus Christ is, and understanding my place in His plan, is the most important thing.  As I reflect on it, I realize that everything in my life could align to go wrong--as I feel that it very well could be, but it doesn't matter.  Mortality is such a short time, as it is.  I can spend my time, as I said earlier, trying to make myself look good in all my day-to-day encounters.  OR I can spend my time coming to know Christ, trying to emulate the qualities He has, following His commandments, and actually becoming someone better than I am.  And then I can spend the rest of my time encouraging others to do the same.  That's important too.

...That's all.  That's my list.  In all my thinking, I can't come up with anything else that is of eternal importance.  In reality, the world doesn't have much to offer.  Houses, cars, food, jobs, vacations, movies, video games, music....  Yeah.  There are fun (and sometimes necessary) things to do and buy, but they fade and break and go out-of-style.  They only mean as much to me as the people with whom they're shared or the lessons I learn as a result.

If you get a minute, and you're the type of person who likes to pray, would you mind saying a prayer that I don't forget to stay focused on what's truly important?  I'll do the same for you.