Enough

For those of my friends who live in the parts of Wyoming, Colorado, and Utah that have flooded, I hope that you're all safe and sound (and dry).  I've tried to get in touch with most of you already.  If not, please, call me if there's anything I can do to help.  I have running water and food in the fridge.  If things get worse, I have water stored and a full tank of gas.  I just hope I have enough if it comes down to actually needing it.

Enough is an important thing.  When we have enough food, we don't suffer from hunger.  When we have enough water, we are able to stay hydrated, clean, and healthy.   Enough money means less stress when it comes time to pay the bills.

Enough can be a curse too, really.  I've certainly been in the position to not think as highly of myself as I should.  I've been caught saying things like:  If I were smart enough, I'd pursue that higher degree.  If I were athletic enough, I'd try out for that team.  If I were talented enough, I'd audition for that role.  If I were dedicated enough, I'd be really good at (insert hobby here).  If I were skinny enough, I'd actually look good in this outfit.  If I were pretty enough, I'd be able to get a date....  You see-- enough can be an unhealthy thing if it becomes an obsession.

Exhibit A:  If I had been perceptive enough, I could have saved myself a lot of grief this week.  I've also seen enough rain, comforted enough crying kids, vacuumed enough water out of my basement, been inundated with enough tasks at work, worried about enough family members stuck in flooding areas, and buried enough beloved pets.  I've seen enough suffering, and--quite frankly-- I'm sick of it.  Enough is enough.

Last night I was asked if I'd take in a family who has lost their home in the recent flooding.  I don't know anything about this family.  I don't know their names, how many of them there are, where they lived, or how long they'll ultimately be relying on others for housing.  I'm not sure when they'll be arriving, or if they still plan on arriving at all.  Last night and this morning, as I've prepared my home to, perhaps, welcome this family, I realized what a task this is.  My inner-strength is already so depleted that I just don't feel like I have enough in me to take care of myself, let alone other people.  I just don't feel strong enough.  Or brave enough.  Or capable enough.

These circumstances remind me of a scripture in the Book of Mormon, Ether 12:27.  In this particular verse, a prophet is mourning the fact that he doesn't feel qualified ("good" enough) to fulfill the work he's been asked to do.  The Lord responds by saying, "... if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

I'm also reminded of a verse of one of my favorite hymns.  (I'll put the entire hymn at the end of the post.  For now, this particular verse seems especially appropriate for those of us surrounded by flood waters.):

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,

The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o'erflow,
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,

And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

(How Firm a Foundation, attr. to Robert Keen)

As I look ahead to what will be expected of me in the coming weeks-- as I prepare to take care of myself and my own sorrows, as I prepare to (maybe) open my home to a family who has experienced sorrow of their own, and as I think of all my students and their families who are without working houses and will need my emotional support-- I realize that I am not strong enough.  Or brave enough.  Or capable enough.  I'm just not.  But, through my faith, the Lord will, somehow, help me to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  He'll help me push along so that I can be strong, and brave, and capable.

May He do the same for all of you who, at this time and always, need Him too.


How Firm a Foundation

How firm a foundation, ye Saints of the Lord,
is laid for your faith in his excellent word!
What more can he say than to you he hath said,
Who unto the Savior for refuge have fled?

In ev'ry condition--in sickness, in health,
In poverty's vale or abounding in wealth.
At home or abroad, on the land or the sea--
As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be.

Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o'erflow,
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.

E'en down to old age, all my people shall prove
My sov'reign, eternal, unchangeable love;
And then, when gray hair shall their temples adorn,
Like lambs shall they still in my bosom be borne.

The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose
I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I'll never, no never, no never forsake!